Bearing Witness Retreat with Zen Peacemakers International 2025

Dear Friends,

This year I participated the Bearing Witness Retreat at Auschwitz-Birkenau after some years I did not. I fund raised my tuition with Mala Practise, asking donations from my friends all around the world. I am really thankful for all the people who made this retreat possible. Thank you for supporting my Mala to fund my participation.

I had just returned home as I wrote this. This marked my seventh time on this retreat. Apart from my first time in 2017, this was the first year I did not have an official staff role. However, I did serve as a co-facilitator for one of the seven Council circles during the retreat. I also co-officiated a ceremony with my dear friend, Michel Engu Dobbs Roshi from New York. Engu is one of the founding members of the Zen Peacemakers’ clown order titled Order of Disorder. On the final evening, we performed as clowns, and many others joined in the fun.

Each retreat seems to reveal its own theme, often in ways that are unexpected. This year, the theme for me seemed to be the bravery of the imprisoned. I was especially moved by the story of Witold Pilecki. In 1940, Pilecki allowed himself to be captured and sent to Auschwitz in order to infiltrate the camp. He organised a resistance movement that included hundreds of inmates, and he secretly drafted reports on the camp’s atrocities, which were smuggled out and shared with the Western Allies. After escaping from Auschwitz in 1943, Pilecki fought in the Warsaw Uprising of 1944. He was executed as a Western spy in 1948 by the Polish Communists.

The big question is: Could I do the same? Probably not, but I was deeply inspired that someone did. This year, I heard many stories of the brave efforts of the camp prisoners. They organised themselves, using the vastness of the camp to their advantage to hide people and equipment. It seems that, even in the most horrific conditions imaginable, human kindness and the will to break free were still very much alive.

This year, I was able to simply bear witness. In previous years, I have often been focused on providing space and resources for others to focus on their own retreat. This year was different. I just showed up, and that was enough. I felt truly privileged to do so. I am deeply grateful to my Mala donors, my family who supported my time away from them, and to all the staff members whose efforts made this retreat possible for all participants. I truly believe this retreat is important. It brings together a unique group of people, and it is these people who have drawn me back time and again. The willingness to bear witness in such a place reveals an openness and vulnerability that is contagious – the vulnerability of others becomes my own.

But why clowning at Auschwitz? The very first time I visited Auschwitz in 2017, the thing that kept coming to my mind was humour. I was asked to host the Talent Show on the last evening of the retreat. I hosted the event wearing my red nose, hoping to lower the bar for other performers. The clown has to let go of their sense of self in order to be funny.

This year, our visit to the children’s barracks was a particularly difficult one. Afterward, we stood next to the ruins of the place where Dr. Mengele’s child victims had been held. Roshi Fleet Maul asked us to offer a few words or a poem. An older German man recited a few lines, ending with a forceful scream of “Arschloch” (asshole) aimed at Dr. Mengele. We all stood there, somewhat confused, though the scream seemed entirely appropriate for that moment and place.
Roshi Engu, interpreted the moment well: he pulled his red nose from his pocket and embraced people, alleviating the solemnity. Someone remarked that the children would have appreciated a smile. I gathered some ice from the puddles and Engu smashed it on the road, until a guide asked us to stay on the path. Sometimes, it is necessary to stray from the path to find the humour in a situation.

There are always new, horrible details about life at Auschwitz-Birkenau to learn. When I recognise these terrible aspects of myself, I feel compelled to nurture the goodness that permeates us all. Sometimes, I wish I could close my ears and eyes to these historical facts. But I believe that bearing witness to these details is important.
Same applies to my everyday life. The constant barrage of news from war zones and climate catastrophes worldwide can numb my senses and leave me feeling helpless. At times, I just shrug my shoulders, resigned to the fact that I can’t do much, and so I do nothing. But bearing witness at Auschwitz shows that people survived even in the most horrific conditions, not by chance, but because they found the courage to collectively transform their circumstances and use their oppressors’ weaknesses against them. This is what I should do. Not to be overwhelmed, but rather bear witness and act!

Thank you for making this retreat possible. Your continuous support is very important.

Love,

Sensei Mikko 🎈

Resources:
Zen Peacemakers International: https://zenpeacemakers.org/
Bearing Witness Retreat at Auschwitz-Birkenau: https://zenpeacemakers.org/programs/auschwitz-birkenau-bearing-witness/